Sunday, February 13, 2011
Number 3
And so, 5 years later, we find ourselves with child again. Child # 2 had needed my increased attention due to low muscle tone, which required 3+ years of physical and occupational therapy; so we decided not to create more kidlets until life returned to something predictable. I'm not sure what criteria exactly that we were looking for to ensure that adding another child to the family was a good idea; but a family reunion enlightened me otherwise. We were spending time at my in-laws along with all the other families when the youngest of the crowd, Courtnee, probably 4 months old, began to wake and cry. Her parents were outside on the patio enjoying the family gathering when I noticed that my DH had taken Courtnee out of her carseat straps and was toting her around. Now, he had been very helpful around the house since the arrival of our babies, but volunteering to soothe another's child had not been something I had seen him do before. When I saw him comfortably and naturally entertaining Courtnee I realized that we were not quite finished building our own family.
Second time around...
I discovered that I was 4 cm dilated at an appointment on a Friday; 3 weeks before my due date. With this child, my pregnancy felt very different. With the first pregnancy, I kept my slender shape, including my waist (from the back), all the way up to delivery. I was so proud of myself. I gained a healthy 35 pounds; but 'carried it well'. In this pregnancy, it was a very short 4 weeks before I lost my waistline. I felt like I looked like a very square washing machine, a big box... and I wasn't even 'showing' yet. At 28 weeks, I stood observing a C-Section and looked like I should have been the patient. The delivering OB even commented and suggested that I might be next. My first birth was wonderful; detailed here under the title, "In the beginning...". I was planning for another wonderful experience, even better this time. On that friday, I was surprised to find that my cervix was already starting to open. I went home to recalculate my 'real' due date, only to find that my original calculations were still spot on. Having the baby in the next day or so would still mean that she would be 3 weeks early. I knew the baby was a girl, not from an ultrasound for I declined the offer; but because I deduced that since this pregnancy was so different it must be a girl this time. So, I did what any woman at 37 weeks and 4 cm would do. I got on my bike, complete with 16 month old strapped into the baby seat and headed off 2 1/2 miles to our weekly Gymboree session. About 3/4 of the way there, I came to my senses and realized - in a rather panicked instant - that my water could certainly break at anytime. And not that I was worried about myself at all - since I felt a bit like superwoman after the first birth - but I suddenly realized that I might have a bit of trouble entertaining the 16 month old on the sidewalk as I labored away. Mind you, this was before cell phones; so I would be a spectacle on the sidewalk, unable to bike anymore as I dealt with one contraction at a time. So the thought of being in a precarious position with my little one in tow made me rethink my plans for the day. I decided that our Gymboree session would wait til another time and I promptly turned around and headed for home. I was lucky. My water didn't break, and we did make it home without incident.
In the next 10 days or so, I had many 'wimpy' contractions; though nothing sustained. I would have contractions 10 minutes apart for an hour or so, then it would fizzle and fade away. I finally began to have more regular contractions one day about 5 minutes apart; however, they were not the intense contractions that I had remembered from the first birth. But, 5 minutes apart is the guideline and I made arrangements for the 16 month old and we headed to the birth center. Upon arriving and being led to a room, I was childishly disappointed to find that I was being led to a different room than I had imagined. I didn't even realize that I had imagined a certain room until I wasn't being taken there. My nurse put me on the external fetal monitor and did a quick vag exam. Contractions were registering, and my cervix was now at 5cm; but I was still a bit baffled at the lack of strength of the contractions. The nurse went to call my OB and I asked if I could walk around the hallways. I remember doing this specifically to get out from under the monitor. As my DH and I walked I noticed the door that led to the stairs. We quietly stepped behind the door. I wanted to encourage the contractions to get stronger, so I ran up two flights as fast as I could, then down the two flights again... with no change. We returned to our room. I was getting settled back in my room and decided to put my make-up on in the bathroom mirror. Now, this is strange because I don't wear much make-up, but apparently it was important to me that day. While I was in the bathroom, my OB came flying in my room and said, "Where is she?" My hubby reported that I was in the bathroom putting on my make-up. The OB laughed and said, "She's not in labor!" I emerged, he did a vag exam and reported that I was 5cm and the cervix stretched easily to 6cm.
We discussed the situation. He wanted to break my water and get the whole thing started. I declined and negotiated that I would head home and we'd reconvene later that evening if contractions changed. Now, this is odd. I can't think of any OBs that I know now that would have ever let me go back home. But he did and we did leave the birth center. I took advantage of the baby sitting I had already arranged and we headed out to lunch - isn't that where all women go with contractions 5 minutes apart and 5-6 cm? I remember lunch being pretty good, contractions subsided, we picked up the 16 month old and headed back home. That was Thursday. Friday, Saturday and Sunday there was not much action. Sunday night my OB called me and said, "Are you still pregnant?" I reported that yes, I was very much pregnant and was looking forward to not being pregnant very soon. We agreed to meet at the birth center on Monday evening and I would let him break my water then.
Upon arriving at the birth center on Monday evening, I found that we were led to the room I thought we would be in. I knew I was coming home with a baby this time since I was in the room I had the premonition about. My OB arrived, broke my water with an amni-hook and 'real' contractions followed quickly. After an hour or so later, I decided that I need to head for the toilet. I had felt a bit constipated (so I thought) for the last day or so and felt a sudden urge to remedy the problem before I started pushing. I sat on the toilet with my DH supporting me and while pushing and pushing and pushing I started to realized that it was the baby giving me the need to push! So, I announced that I needed to be in the bed for the next contraction. I seriously don't remember how I got from the toilet to the bed, but I got there and immediately got into a modified hands-and-knees position while holding onto the bar on the back of the now sitting upright bed. I realized then that I was going to have a baby soon. I felt so strong! I felt like I could have lifted something very heavy on the first floor all the way to the second floor. I'm not sure about that image, but that's what I remember thinking. I also remember having a twinge of disappointment that the baby would be here soon - because I had wanted to experience laboring in the shower this time. Well, it was not to be. The nurse arrived, probably because I was making so much noise pushing, she wanted to give me permission to push based on a fully dilated cervix. So with her gloved hand ready, she approached me to discuss turning over on the bed so she could perform a vag exam. Well, I had other news for her; there was a baby to deliver instead of a vag exam to perform! Upon seeing the baby's head very close to crowning, she dashed out of the room looking for the OB. He entered the room just in time to catch.
I had had a 'three snipper' episiotomy last time and healed very poorly - complete with infected stitches - so this time I had done my research and had chosen to have no incision, but to allow the perineum to tear down the old episiotomy line if it needed to. And it did. The OB had agreed to honor my request not to cut. I did need some repair - but the short story is that the healing time was much quicker this time - whether it had to do with the tearing or with the lack of infection this time, I don't know. We had asked that the birth attendants not announce the sex of the baby - we didn't know either - and they abided by our request. The baby was placed up on my tummy and noone in the room knew the sex of the baby. Not even me. So, in a few moments my husband looked to discover that now we had a baby girl. I was so happy! A boy and a girl; perfect. I couldn't have ordered up a more perfect family. I was so proud of myself for being able to birth two beautiful babies with no pain meds, very little in the way of interventions!
In the next 10 days or so, I had many 'wimpy' contractions; though nothing sustained. I would have contractions 10 minutes apart for an hour or so, then it would fizzle and fade away. I finally began to have more regular contractions one day about 5 minutes apart; however, they were not the intense contractions that I had remembered from the first birth. But, 5 minutes apart is the guideline and I made arrangements for the 16 month old and we headed to the birth center. Upon arriving and being led to a room, I was childishly disappointed to find that I was being led to a different room than I had imagined. I didn't even realize that I had imagined a certain room until I wasn't being taken there. My nurse put me on the external fetal monitor and did a quick vag exam. Contractions were registering, and my cervix was now at 5cm; but I was still a bit baffled at the lack of strength of the contractions. The nurse went to call my OB and I asked if I could walk around the hallways. I remember doing this specifically to get out from under the monitor. As my DH and I walked I noticed the door that led to the stairs. We quietly stepped behind the door. I wanted to encourage the contractions to get stronger, so I ran up two flights as fast as I could, then down the two flights again... with no change. We returned to our room. I was getting settled back in my room and decided to put my make-up on in the bathroom mirror. Now, this is strange because I don't wear much make-up, but apparently it was important to me that day. While I was in the bathroom, my OB came flying in my room and said, "Where is she?" My hubby reported that I was in the bathroom putting on my make-up. The OB laughed and said, "She's not in labor!" I emerged, he did a vag exam and reported that I was 5cm and the cervix stretched easily to 6cm.
We discussed the situation. He wanted to break my water and get the whole thing started. I declined and negotiated that I would head home and we'd reconvene later that evening if contractions changed. Now, this is odd. I can't think of any OBs that I know now that would have ever let me go back home. But he did and we did leave the birth center. I took advantage of the baby sitting I had already arranged and we headed out to lunch - isn't that where all women go with contractions 5 minutes apart and 5-6 cm? I remember lunch being pretty good, contractions subsided, we picked up the 16 month old and headed back home. That was Thursday. Friday, Saturday and Sunday there was not much action. Sunday night my OB called me and said, "Are you still pregnant?" I reported that yes, I was very much pregnant and was looking forward to not being pregnant very soon. We agreed to meet at the birth center on Monday evening and I would let him break my water then.
Upon arriving at the birth center on Monday evening, I found that we were led to the room I thought we would be in. I knew I was coming home with a baby this time since I was in the room I had the premonition about. My OB arrived, broke my water with an amni-hook and 'real' contractions followed quickly. After an hour or so later, I decided that I need to head for the toilet. I had felt a bit constipated (so I thought) for the last day or so and felt a sudden urge to remedy the problem before I started pushing. I sat on the toilet with my DH supporting me and while pushing and pushing and pushing I started to realized that it was the baby giving me the need to push! So, I announced that I needed to be in the bed for the next contraction. I seriously don't remember how I got from the toilet to the bed, but I got there and immediately got into a modified hands-and-knees position while holding onto the bar on the back of the now sitting upright bed. I realized then that I was going to have a baby soon. I felt so strong! I felt like I could have lifted something very heavy on the first floor all the way to the second floor. I'm not sure about that image, but that's what I remember thinking. I also remember having a twinge of disappointment that the baby would be here soon - because I had wanted to experience laboring in the shower this time. Well, it was not to be. The nurse arrived, probably because I was making so much noise pushing, she wanted to give me permission to push based on a fully dilated cervix. So with her gloved hand ready, she approached me to discuss turning over on the bed so she could perform a vag exam. Well, I had other news for her; there was a baby to deliver instead of a vag exam to perform! Upon seeing the baby's head very close to crowning, she dashed out of the room looking for the OB. He entered the room just in time to catch.
I had had a 'three snipper' episiotomy last time and healed very poorly - complete with infected stitches - so this time I had done my research and had chosen to have no incision, but to allow the perineum to tear down the old episiotomy line if it needed to. And it did. The OB had agreed to honor my request not to cut. I did need some repair - but the short story is that the healing time was much quicker this time - whether it had to do with the tearing or with the lack of infection this time, I don't know. We had asked that the birth attendants not announce the sex of the baby - we didn't know either - and they abided by our request. The baby was placed up on my tummy and noone in the room knew the sex of the baby. Not even me. So, in a few moments my husband looked to discover that now we had a baby girl. I was so happy! A boy and a girl; perfect. I couldn't have ordered up a more perfect family. I was so proud of myself for being able to birth two beautiful babies with no pain meds, very little in the way of interventions!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
An Empowering Birth
The first birth is always a mystery; no matter how many classes taken or books read; the unknown is powerful. I wanted to have an unmedicated low intervention birth - as most women plan on. On Tuesday, I went in for a vag exam and discovered I was already at 4 cm. The doc said - and I remember exactly - "See you tonight!" I knew it might not happen that night; but I was under the impression it would be in the next day or so. So, when I woke up Wednesday morning still pregnant; I wasn't too concerned. But I stayed home from work; puttering around the house making things ready. On Thursday, when I woke still pregnant, I was a bit miffed, mostly at my own body, for not complying with the doctor's prediction. The day wore on, at home, and I became more and more grumpy and frustrated. On Friday, I was so pissed that I was still pregnant, that I went to work. I ended up standing in line at the city planning desk for over an hour. I'm not sure what I was thinking, going to work that day; but I felt a bit guilty 'lounging around' at home when work needed to be finished. As I packed up my things to head home, I decided to make one last trip to the grocery store before the baby was born; like preparing for a long winter. I walked into my husband's office, stuck my wagging finger in his face and said, " I'm going to the grocery store now. I want you home when I get home. I don't want to walk in to an empty house." He didn't know what to think of me, but answered quickly with, "Ok, sure. Whatever you need." This was unusal behavior for me. I'm usually up, happy, almost goofy at times. As I walked down the hall away from his office I wasn't quite sure where that all came from. I headed to the grocery store, bought entirely too many things. I always take my own groceries to the car, no matter the size of the load; but this day when asked if I wanted help out, I responded with an emphatic, 'Yes. I think I would.' The pimply-faced youth who pushed the cart was just trying to be cheery - I'm sure he was mortified to be walking next to such a hugely pregnant woman - he asked when the baby was due. I stared him down - certainly not like me - and answered: "7 o'clock". The poor teen shoveled my groceries into my car so fast that they were not in the bags anymore. He hurriedly and ran back to the store. I was grumpy, miffed and put out that now I had to sort through my own groceries, strewn all over the car, just to get them in the house.
I'll bet you can guess what happened next. Yep; my water broke. Oh happy day! I was finally thinking that my body would actually do this and was ready to get down to business. After getting all the groceries in from the car and trying not to pay attention to the absence of uterine contractions, my dear hubby arrived. He reported that he tried to get home before I got there; but got caught in the hallway talking to his boss. I was unaffected by him not being home when I got there. I think I actually forgot about my earlier demand. I reported my new findings - amniotic fluid - and we proceeded with the things we were supposed to do: eat a light meal, move our overnight bags into the car - yes, they were already packed with extra toothbrushes, hair dryer, deoderant - so no daily supplies were needed to be gathered from the bathroom counter to make the trip to the hospital.
Contractions finally showed up a few hours later and we were good students and did our breathing with each one. We headed to bed for a fitful effort in sleeping, as I woke up for each contraction. By 3 or 4 am, contractions were getting a tad unbearable. I panicked a bit, dug out all the books I had been reading; laid them all out on the kitchen counter and looked up in each table of contents and index for the word, 'pain'. I was not finding what I wanted - it certainly wasn't in any book. and after a few more intense contractions, we decided to head out to the hospital. Upon arrival, my first exam revealed that I was dilated to 4 cm. Now, how can that be?, I remember thinking. After all those hours and pain how can my cervix not have changed at all. But before I could think much past that, here came another big contraction. We labored together for a few more hours. I realized I needed some inspiration to continue so I asked my hubby to take me to see the newborn nursery. We walked a short distance down the hall and peered through the glass. Oh good grief, I thought, why in the world would they put the 3 month olds all here in the delivery wing. I thought all the babies' heads were too big to be newborns! A few more tough contractions sent us back to our room. At this point I was beginning to lose any composure that I thought I had earlier. I was most certainly experienceing transition and demanded that I couldn't do it anymore and that I needed something for the pain. Our nurse just looked at me, I swear she patted me on the head, and said, "Oh honey, just keep doing what you're doing, you'll be fine." There was a small part of me that wanted to smack her; but the part of me with no sefl-confidence said to myself, "Well, she sees this everyday; I guess I'm doing OK". Well, I didn't feel OK. Somehow we got through the next contractions. When the nurse did a vag exam, she announced that I was complete and could push whenever I felt like it. Well, all I understood at that point - and you have to remember; there's no blood circulation to the educated brain at this point - it's all in the uterus, where it should be. So, my head told me there was somethig wrong with me because I didn't have any feeling to push. So I announced it. The nurse quieted me and told me the baby would come out whether I pushed or not. Well, I was sure relieved about that! However, it had been Friday the 13th only a few hours before and I didn't want to have a baby on Friday the 13th - fine time to think about that! I looked at my watch to make sure it was after midnight; when, in fact, it was 7 am and the sun was streaming in the windows! As I pushed, and rested, pushed and rested, the doc was on his rolling doctor stool, just waiting... To make some small talk as we all waited for the next contraction, he asked my husband if he was enjoying tennis. My husband engaged into a long conversation, as I recall, about tennis. Now this was pretty funny since he doesn't PLAY tennis... Some contractions later, I noticed that there was a hanging plant in the corner of the room, but it was in poor shape. I became philosophical, naked and knees up, and announced to the room that 'this was a poor place for a dead plant since this room sees new life everyday'.
So, I pushed. 3 or 4 pushes per contractions... for 2 hours. Finally, the baby's head was close, the doctor was near and the contractions were progressing as programmed. I touched my baby's head as he began to emerge. His head was born after a 3-snipper epis; snip! snip! snip! (I didn't know I had so much tissue there!) The doctor then commanded me to 'sit up here and pull your baby out!'. Well, I thought he was kidding. I couldn't even tie my shoes anymore with my big belly; how in the world could I sit up from this reclined position and reach anything above my feet. Well, I looked down and there was the doc's hand, waiting to help me lunge forward. He helped me up, I reached down, squished my first two fingers under my baby's armpits ( his shoulders were out, but his hands were still inside) and hoisted him up to my belly. Wow. I didn't even know I could DO that; much less that I actually WANTED to do that. But it turns out I could and I did. Our child was born! Wahoo! and somehow I made it through with no drugs, no epidural, and only a few minutes of external fetal monitoring. Oh, yes, but don't forget the 3-snipper episiotomy... but that's another story.
Birth stories are important to share, to remember and to treasure. You will find a woman will remember her birth stories to the very smallest detail; including colors, times, specific things people say and do in the hours surrounding birth. Share your story. Young women need to hear it, to feel your emotions, to see that birth hasn't changed much - only what those surrounding us do...
I'll bet you can guess what happened next. Yep; my water broke. Oh happy day! I was finally thinking that my body would actually do this and was ready to get down to business. After getting all the groceries in from the car and trying not to pay attention to the absence of uterine contractions, my dear hubby arrived. He reported that he tried to get home before I got there; but got caught in the hallway talking to his boss. I was unaffected by him not being home when I got there. I think I actually forgot about my earlier demand. I reported my new findings - amniotic fluid - and we proceeded with the things we were supposed to do: eat a light meal, move our overnight bags into the car - yes, they were already packed with extra toothbrushes, hair dryer, deoderant - so no daily supplies were needed to be gathered from the bathroom counter to make the trip to the hospital.
Contractions finally showed up a few hours later and we were good students and did our breathing with each one. We headed to bed for a fitful effort in sleeping, as I woke up for each contraction. By 3 or 4 am, contractions were getting a tad unbearable. I panicked a bit, dug out all the books I had been reading; laid them all out on the kitchen counter and looked up in each table of contents and index for the word, 'pain'. I was not finding what I wanted - it certainly wasn't in any book. and after a few more intense contractions, we decided to head out to the hospital. Upon arrival, my first exam revealed that I was dilated to 4 cm. Now, how can that be?, I remember thinking. After all those hours and pain how can my cervix not have changed at all. But before I could think much past that, here came another big contraction. We labored together for a few more hours. I realized I needed some inspiration to continue so I asked my hubby to take me to see the newborn nursery. We walked a short distance down the hall and peered through the glass. Oh good grief, I thought, why in the world would they put the 3 month olds all here in the delivery wing. I thought all the babies' heads were too big to be newborns! A few more tough contractions sent us back to our room. At this point I was beginning to lose any composure that I thought I had earlier. I was most certainly experienceing transition and demanded that I couldn't do it anymore and that I needed something for the pain. Our nurse just looked at me, I swear she patted me on the head, and said, "Oh honey, just keep doing what you're doing, you'll be fine." There was a small part of me that wanted to smack her; but the part of me with no sefl-confidence said to myself, "Well, she sees this everyday; I guess I'm doing OK". Well, I didn't feel OK. Somehow we got through the next contractions. When the nurse did a vag exam, she announced that I was complete and could push whenever I felt like it. Well, all I understood at that point - and you have to remember; there's no blood circulation to the educated brain at this point - it's all in the uterus, where it should be. So, my head told me there was somethig wrong with me because I didn't have any feeling to push. So I announced it. The nurse quieted me and told me the baby would come out whether I pushed or not. Well, I was sure relieved about that! However, it had been Friday the 13th only a few hours before and I didn't want to have a baby on Friday the 13th - fine time to think about that! I looked at my watch to make sure it was after midnight; when, in fact, it was 7 am and the sun was streaming in the windows! As I pushed, and rested, pushed and rested, the doc was on his rolling doctor stool, just waiting... To make some small talk as we all waited for the next contraction, he asked my husband if he was enjoying tennis. My husband engaged into a long conversation, as I recall, about tennis. Now this was pretty funny since he doesn't PLAY tennis... Some contractions later, I noticed that there was a hanging plant in the corner of the room, but it was in poor shape. I became philosophical, naked and knees up, and announced to the room that 'this was a poor place for a dead plant since this room sees new life everyday'.
So, I pushed. 3 or 4 pushes per contractions... for 2 hours. Finally, the baby's head was close, the doctor was near and the contractions were progressing as programmed. I touched my baby's head as he began to emerge. His head was born after a 3-snipper epis; snip! snip! snip! (I didn't know I had so much tissue there!) The doctor then commanded me to 'sit up here and pull your baby out!'. Well, I thought he was kidding. I couldn't even tie my shoes anymore with my big belly; how in the world could I sit up from this reclined position and reach anything above my feet. Well, I looked down and there was the doc's hand, waiting to help me lunge forward. He helped me up, I reached down, squished my first two fingers under my baby's armpits ( his shoulders were out, but his hands were still inside) and hoisted him up to my belly. Wow. I didn't even know I could DO that; much less that I actually WANTED to do that. But it turns out I could and I did. Our child was born! Wahoo! and somehow I made it through with no drugs, no epidural, and only a few minutes of external fetal monitoring. Oh, yes, but don't forget the 3-snipper episiotomy... but that's another story.
Birth stories are important to share, to remember and to treasure. You will find a woman will remember her birth stories to the very smallest detail; including colors, times, specific things people say and do in the hours surrounding birth. Share your story. Young women need to hear it, to feel your emotions, to see that birth hasn't changed much - only what those surrounding us do...
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